My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
