am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
