He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
