his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
