his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
