How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
