i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize