Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
