some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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