If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
