I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
