Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry about my life...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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