Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
