Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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