Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am one with the molecules
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
