I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
