I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
