Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
