Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
