mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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