Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
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Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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