So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
