So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
