My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
