I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
