I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i out mim tonsoeep
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