Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.