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forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
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