he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.