Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
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He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong