nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
