tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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