There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
