I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
