i think my tv is drunk
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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