I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
