even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
