Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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