I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
