I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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