Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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