You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
