We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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