I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
