it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
