woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
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You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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