only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
