when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
