Can Purell be used as lube?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
