Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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