Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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