By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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