you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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