I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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