if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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