what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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