Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Randomize
