Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
