Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
